


Khan's Speech

by Lionessinthedark



Series: Star Trek into darkness.....a bit different [19]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Betrayal, Hurt, Khan is not a bad guy after all, Post-Star Trek: Into Darkness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 04:09:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4464947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lionessinthedark/pseuds/Lionessinthedark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Khan is going to tell a lot of people the truth about themselves.....or is he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter one

Khan, or rather “Noonien”, looked around in the room. There were more than 80 people present. Most of all crew-members from the USS Enterprise: Scotty, Sulu, Chekov, Uhura, Jim, Spock amongst others, and people from the Star-fleet Federation too and even from the Galactic Council. Mostly humans, “earthlings” tellurians, but representatives from other species too. About 10 Betazoids...High-priestess Ketira one of them.

Noonien went to the podium and began to speak:

“Thank you for coming at such a short notice and please listen to me without interruptions. It is Ketira, the high-priestess of Betazed who had asked me to assemble you all. I’m not sure, that you’ll gain what you hope for, Ketira!  
You all know who I am. Or at least you think you know who I am. Well actually you don’t. I’m not the original Khan Noonien Singh. I’m a clone and he is a lump of dead meat lying in a cryo-tube somewhere on Earth. A strange odd-ball of a man. Made from a patchwork of genes from all over the Galaxy. An enigma...because how did scientists in the 20th century get their hands of genes from other species? A man different even amongst his own....a man pale as marble....and with an Indian Sikh name. How ironic. An augment...a soldier....a slave!

We were all made in petri-dishes and raised and forced into being warriors. Abandoned on an island and then found again, having to watch soldiers kill babies and small children. Later we were the ones who were called monsters! We were abused, tortured and made into the best warriors ever seen. The augmented soldiers...... that were meant to save Earth.

And just outside the earthlings’ sight were you, the more advanced species, which had decided that earthlings were not mature enough to join the fine party. You had put up beacons in space to tell that “the children” ....the humans on Earth....should be left alone in their “nursery-room”...planet Earth. You forgot to keep an eye on the threats against them. Thus leaving them/us alone to fight the “Buzzers”. Oh yes....you later told me, Ketira, that if the “Buzzers” had come closer to Earth, The Council would have intervened. But how should we earthlings have known?   
We thought we were alone in the Universe!! We managed to beat them, but unfortunately the creation of super-soldiers backfired and later versions of my species...version 12 and 13....tried to take over Earth, fight their cruel creators and managed for more than 3 years to conquer and rule most of the countries on Earth. Even if the Eugenic Wars killed millions it wasn’t just a bad thing to happen.   
It forced humans to interact, to work together and as a result of the Eugenic wars the true united government emerged only 5 years after the war. No longer a lot of countries working against each other but a true union. Unfortunately we....the augmented soldiers version 10.... were caught in the middle of that and my brother and his fellow soldiers were killed as they returned to Earth and we were condemned as war criminals in absentia. Again we were called “monsters”. I thought that we could return to Earth as war heroes after having killed the “Buzzers” but we were confused with the other later augments and had to flee. Later Admiral Marcus awoke me and forced me to obey him in a lot of ways. And even if he killed my wife, my unborn child, my sister and my brother and some of the younger ones and tortured and abused some of them and me or had others to do so, he dared to tell me that I was the monster!

As I fled, as I fought for my freedom, as I fought to keep my people alive preventing genocide, as I replied in kind to the abuse, the torture, the threats against me and mine, you humans again called me a monster and only looked at _what _I did and not _why _._  
When I decided against my better knowing to trust human beings again, I was betrayed and “stabbed in my back” (Jim and Scotty looked at Khan, but said nothing) and I reacted in the only way I thought humans would understand. With threats and violence.   
But contrary to the common belief amongst you, I restrained myself: I limited the damage in London, I did not blow up the whole building in San Francisco and I only fired at admirals in the Daystrom-room. I only slightly injured Carol Marcus and Jim Kirk instead of killing them and when I thought that my crew were blown to pieces (Spock looked up but didn’t say anything...his cheeks had turned green) I only wanted to ruin the Starfleet headquarters and not the whole city, as I would have been able to do.___

______Injured from the crash of the Vengeance I was hunted down and injured even more by one of the persons present in this room as a revenge for something I had nothing to do with and the only thing that prevented him from killing me was that they needed my blood.  
It was taken away from me without my consent.....just another abuse. And very risky for the recipient person. And then, without a trial where I could have justified my doings, I was cryo-tubed again...injured.... and left in the un-merciful hands of the Starfleet that had abused me in the first place under Admiral Marcus.   
You hopefully were not that naive that you didn’t think that some persons loyal to Marcus were not still around? It was only a question of time before the 300 years old technology would have failed on our cryo-tubes or a loyal person to Marcus would have been put in charge of those cryo-tubes.   
In both cases we would have died...at the best._ _

____Ketira...you told me that you had kept an eye of the doings of the Starfleet Command. Let me tell you that my wife, my unborn child, my sister and my brother and most of all I, didn’t discover that!  
I didn’t discover that while I was tortured, abused and strapped to bio-beds being treated as a lab rat! Living through endless months of pain and abuse!_ _ _ _

____I would have liked to know that someone kept an eye on me, so I could tell myself that I was safe while they checked my abilities to heal whatever injury they would inflict on me!!!! As they cut lumps of living muscle tissue away from my limbs, removed my organs, filled me with bacteria or virus or vivisected me, yes even crucified me!!”_ _ _ _

____(Ketira looked down on the table. She didn’t want to look at Noonien, because he had every right to be angry. They had not stopped Admiral Marcus and his staff from doing their insane experiments on him, just observed. At that time they hadn’t discovered how unique he was, but that was no excuse for letting a living thinking being suffer that much)._ _ _ _

____“Then I was thawed again, left in a prison-cell without sufficient food, medical care or means to defend myself and a mockery of a trial was executed. I even had to defend myself without pen and paper or access to the net. Thankfully the judges were fair and I gained hope and thought that there was still a possibility for fairness and hope for me and my people. My people were pardoned and promised a place in society and I decided to play along and pretend to believe that they were safe. Knowing just too well what could happen to them if anyone found out about the discoveries of Admiral Marcus’ scientists.  
Even you, Bones, being a decent man, told me that you could be tempted to use me as a lab rat to produce antibodies. And I volunteered......forcing myself to believe that you actually could be decent and not forcing me. You even asked me if I was worried if something like that could happen to my people on Earth...and I lied and said “no”_ _ _ _

____The trial of course ended with my death-sentence! Anything else would have been a surprise. But then I was taken by surprise. I had not anticipated that you...anyone of you....would have spoken in favour of me. Thus cancelling the sentence. But as I later learned it had been the plan all along in order to make me feel grateful and thus forgetting that the trial had been so wrong and a mockery from the beginning. Not a single person from Admiral Marcus’ staff was brought to trial. But their slave, their lab-rat and their sex-toy was accused. And I....I was stupid enough to be manipulated and even to feel gratitude!!!_ _ _ _

____The Starfleet even took away my rank and my education, deciding that I should do it all over again, and stupid little Khan swallowed the bait: hook, line and sinker and everything! And there I was nearly a year after on board the USS Enterprise. Had I proven then that I was trustworthy? Apparently not since I was tested again and again and again. As long as I behaved nicely within my limited “box”: saved your lives, enhancing things on board, I was treated nicely even if there were some hostility from time to time. I even made a relationship with the captain. But it would have to be very hush, hush. No one must know and as Spock....well....actually raped me...and that was what you did, Spock!! (Spock’s cheeks were now even greener) it had to be maintained as a secret too. Yes we were lovers and you Jim once accused me of deluding you by being exactly what you dreamt of. But that is what lovers do, isn’t it. Trying to arouse the other one?_ _ _ _

____It was only as the original Khan made a miscalculation that actually showed that Marcus had planned the war between The Federation and The Klingon Empire and died proving it, that you Spock had to admit to your older self and your father that you had a relationship with me/him. I think that the first clone was grateful that you...and some of the officers on the USS Enterprise.... broke practically every rule and regulation in the Starfleet to give me/him a body and transferring Khan’s mind, memory and soul. But I think....looking at the events that took place afterwards, that you should have let me/him die there.  
Khan used his skills as an augment to bind both of you, Jim and Spock....and maybe he shouldn’t have done so....creating relationships. Just have accepted his utter loneliness. You were both nice partners if my memories are correct and it was nice to be sort of loved. But I/he was never loved as “Khan” or even “Noonien”. You never loved “me”...just the tame beast with my name. The restricted being I/he had decided to show you. The tame beast I had become since the trial on Earth. _ _ _ _

______From that time it only went downhill. The Vorta-clones were infected with nano gladiator-spheres that could activate extremely violent behaviour in me/them and I decided to confront myself version 13, who had seized power over planet Motaka in the Dominion and had ordered the clone-creators to put those spheres into the clones. By doing that I was actually disobeying Captains orders since I left my second home on the Star ship...the brig....and had thawed and awakened another clone.  
Afterwards I met nothing but distrust, threats against my life, phaser-shots and betrayal from the very people, whose life I had saved so many times before and even this time too, as I returned to the ship again after having eliminated yet another threat against humans and Earth.   
I do not throw you Spock and Jim and Bones in that basket as you were away from the ship at that time. But you....the rest of the crew of USS Enterprise and even my colleagues there: Scotty, Uhura, Sulu and Chekov. I’ll ask all of you: can you look me into my eyes right now and say that you did not choose to believe that everything you heard my clone and my other browner self say was the truth?   
That you actually chose to believe that lie instead of the truth. I had done nothing but to prove that truth during my actions to safe your lives I do not know how many times. I took one small tiny step outside my allowed “box” and you all turned your back on me and turned me down. Not one single one of you....not even my nearest colleagues...you Scotty, you Chekov, you Sulu and you Uhura....not one of you doubted that lie I, or rather the clone, had to tell the other Khan Noonien Singh. Not one of you!!”_ _

____Khan looked around....but no one said anything and no one dared to look him into his eyes. He was telling the truth and they all felt ashamed._ _ _ _

____“Over and over and over again I have to prove myself.....that I’m trustworthy. A demand no one else on board your ship, Captain Kirk, has to fulfil. If any other of your officers or crew-members had been treated the way I had been, you would have made a trial and the perpetrators would have been punished somehow. But as it was I and it was nearly every one of your officers that should have faced a trial, you practically told me that it would cripple your ship. Oh no....not in words.....you are much smarter than that Jim and I’m not the only manipulative bastard in here. So of course I didn’t want to cause you harm and make my lover sad....so I told you that I didn’t want to put charges against your officers. And then you wondered why I was reluctant to come back to your bed after that?!  
And I even had to prove that I was willing to sacrifice myself to save the crew again when I was about to leave Betazed, Ketira. You tested me...chipping off yet another small lump of my trust towards others by doing so. And then you all have the nerve to accuse me of having trust-issues!_ _ _ _

____When my former clone decided to act upon his suspicion of warmongering from Marcus and the Emperor by freeing the Klingon prince Krell and travelling with him to Qo’noS in order to prevent the war between the Klingons and the Federation, he knew that there was a huge risk. I do not know totally what he thought or what he exactly did. His memories are not a true part of me. Only the ones buried in his/mine soul. But those memories are disturbed/twisted without the memories and emotions from the actual brain. But if he was me up until we did put that slave torq around our neck on Betazed, I think I know how he felt as his life was running out of him in that dungeon under the emperors palace: resignation, loneliness and sorrow would be my guess._ _ _ _

____You Ketira, you hoped that I today by confronting people from my life would feel an urge to be the same person again. I can tell you that if you would test me today I would fail. I would not give my life for the crew of USS Enterprise. I would not even give my life for my own people!  
If Marcus thawed me today and used my people against me I would tell him that he could kill every one of them or I would even do so myself. What would be the reason not to? We’ll all die in the end and for me it would be the time, right? My body is only 25 years old, but my soul is more than 300 years old. I’m tired of having to prove myself over and over again. I’m tired of humans, of Betazoids, of every single species represented in this room!_ _ _ _

____I’ll stop fighting; I’ll stop pretending that I’m something that I am not. I could rule the Federation within a few years if I wanted to. I’ve never shown my full capacity.....not even to you Spock. I’ve always kept a part of myself hidden. My ability to manipulate people is one of my secrets...and you wouldn’t even discover that. Not even skilled people like you Betazoids._ _ _ _

____But I wouldn’t. I’ll just leave all of you to your miserably little lives and you’ll just have to manage even without my augmented people.....oh here they are. Just on cue!”_ _ _ _

____And Noonien stopped talking as Spock Prime and Sarek entered the door._ _ _ _


	2. Chapter 2

And Noonien stopped talking as Spock Prime and Sarek entered the door.

Noonien: “And a welcome...a true welcome to two of the few people that I’ve learned to trust and who in contrary to the rest of the people in here never had betrayed me!”

“Not quite true” said Spock Prime: “I unfortunately confused the Khan from my universe with you and that might have forced some un-wished events to happen, and for that I’m truly sorry...”

“And that is why I say that you have never betrayed me!” and Noonien continued: “and you Sarek, you accepted me as your sons T’hy’la...never said a word against it and now you are even helping my people to a safer place....”

Sarek: “It’s only a logical solution. Your people contain so much Vulcan material and your nature would fit so much better into our culture than into the cultures on Earth”

Noonien turned to the audience again: “I hope you are listening well, you members of the Star-fleet Federation and even you Ketira, as one representative from the Council. The babies from Antarctica, that you should take care of and the clones of me, that you made illegally, they are to be transferred to New Vulcan where they would be looked after and taken care of according to their nature.   
They are now out of your hands, Ketira, Council and Starfleet Federation and are in this moment being transferred to a safe place on New Vulcan. Finally my people are safe and no one in this room would be allowed to visit this place except me and Spock Prime and Sarek. I do not trust the rest of you. Not even you Kirk or you Spock. Not even you Bones, who was the last one to betray me. Go on....continue your voyage on the USS Enterprise. But it is without me! You can now leave this room. I’ll only want Spock, Jim and Spock Prime and Sarek to stay. Don’t bother to say farewell to me. I know that you in the bottom of your heart don’t give a dam what happens to me!”

______________

As the people had left the room Noonien turned to Spock: “I know this is very embarrassing and actually cruel of me but I sincerely hope that you have learned something from these events and that it can make you climb down from your pedestal. Maybe you should consider the Kolinahr ritual since you have shown remarkably lack of emotional control at at least 3 occasions:   
First as you abandoned Kirk on Delta Vega without securing his safe landing. If it hadn’t been for Spock Prime, Jim would have died. 

Second as you hunted down and tried to kill a wounded man...me.... and you even admitted later that you would have killed me even if I had surrendered. 

And third as you failed to control your Pon Farr and raped me. And yes.... I show lack of emotional control right know by humiliating you in front of your father and Jim and Spock Prime and I’m cruel by doing so.   
But not as cruel as your were when you made me believe that I was the only remaining being of my species. You accused me of the crash in San Francisco, but the truth is that if you had kept your side of the bargain, as I did, and had given me my frozen crew, I would have flown away leaving you all alone. But were you accused of anything?....No....only Khan Noonien Singh was accused.   
But actually you were just as responsible for the crash.   
And you Jim.....manipulating me in your oh so clever and subtle way. In the beginning making me believe that I could trust you, that you would protect my crew. And then you were prepared to “sell” me and my crew....handing us over to that monster Marcus again to save yourself and your crew.   
So much for your promise. And later by the first given opportunity you chose to abandon me...and did chose your officers and your precious ship over me. So much for your declarations of love for Noonien! Learn of this experience too! And know that I’ve seen right through you just as if you were made of glass! You never loved me...that’s for sure!”

Noonien turned his back to the two young men and started to speak to Sarek and Spock Prime as they went to the other side of the room.

Jim and Spock looked at each other....then Jim took Spock’s hand: “I do not wish that you should perform the Kolinahr ritual. And it is pure selfish....I do not want to be the only one remembering how we were thoroughly “washed, spin-dried, tumbled and hung out to dry” by this man. And the worst part is that he is totally right...I feel so ashamed. I never intended to let him down in so many ways....it just happened.”

Spock stood just watching the departing men for a little while and then he squeezed Jim’s hand: “You are not the only one!” And then they left the room.

________________________

“Are they gone?” asked Noonien.

“They are gone...all of them” answered Spock Prime.

Noonien looked at the two men: “That was extremely hard. Being that cruel, cold and calculating....” he had tears in his eyes.

“But you said that you understand the necessity?” said Sarek.

“Yeah...it’s so much easier to forget a cold manipulative bastard! And they would no longer mourn me when I’ve hurt them so deeply. And a lie is easier to remember when there is a core of truth in it. But I still find it difficult to hurt your son so profoundly.....He is still my lover, my friend and my T’hy’la! And I really have forgiven him the things he did to me as I understood why he did it!”

Sarek looked at him: “I know....and that is why you had to hurt him so profoundly that he would never consider a mind meld with you again. Even if there is a core of truth in your ability to hide things during a mind meld, you would not be able to hide the truth of what happened to you while you were truly dead and at the same time captured in that terrible torq...an in that Limbo. And as you said: the knowledge could jeopardize his life!”

“And besides”, continued Spock Prime: “the fact that you “came back” from death by having your memories and personality transferred from that torq to a cloned body....it makes it easier for people to explain the differences in your behaviour by a failed transmission. Thank god your own feeling of being a bit different made you call yourself “Noonien” instead of “Khan” thus emphasising the change. I know of course that you are the same ”Khan”. I would have noticed and remembered changes....well except from your partly lacking memories from the last year. But you are still the same. I should know. I was there, in your mind, at both “soul- transferring” occasions!”

“Not my soul...only my Ba and my Ib...the last time, Spock Prime. My soul was in that terrible place....the “limbo” but thank god there is no sense of time in there!”

And he turned to Sarek: “I’m glad though that my experience would prevent further catching “Katras” in Katric arc’s, and thereby condemn the souls to stay in that limbo. They must have been relieved when they finally could move on as Vulcan was destroyed!”

Sarek looked at Noonien: “It required a lot of meditation from us to deal with the fact that we had kept so many souls caught in that limbo for such a long time. But how should we have known? They couldn’t tell us. Not even Surak, who was the one awoken most frequently. Yes I’m glad that you could tell us. But it’s a terrible knowledge as is the rest of it. The knowledge the “Old Ones” did put in your mind and the suggestions...”

“Not suggestions...orders!”

Sarek: “Orders then. I can see the reason for them. My logical mind can see the necessity. But my feelings are yelling, screaming like a wild animal in a cage......I’m proud that you have found us worthy of sharing that knowledge....but it is a burden. And yet a burden I’m happy to share with you. No one should carry that burden alone!”

Noonien: “But why me? How could they know that I was able to carry that knowledge in my mind without going insane?”

Spock Prime continued: “I have the feeling that we have all been manipulated all along. The scientist back on Earth creating you....making you so very close to “them”, being different even amongst your own species. Not so much the height and the pointy ears, but the rest and most of all your mind.   
The fact that the Eugenic Wars left you frozen in space.   
That Nero created a wormhole between to universes bringing me here, destroyed Vulcan and made my younger self even more unstable and Jim the man he is.   
Creating the special and very young and therefore immature crew of the Enterprise.   
All the events that bring us here right now in this room with all our luggage of emotions and knowledge. I’m afraid that people’s sometimes-out-of-character-acting compared to my universe was because of manipulation. I would never have thought....and most certainly they wouldn’t have done that in my universe....that the Betazoids would make illegal clones, or testing you in such a cruel way.   
My younger self is not alone younger but mentally more unstable than I’ve ever been and Jim is different too. Unstable and not at all the Jim I knew. And most of all you are a totally different Khan: smarter, faster and as Ketira said “full-circled”. I don’t think I can say that about “my” Khan even if I now can see that my Jim and I were not innocent and most certainly had a part of creating his insanity by abandoning him and his people on that planet and not keeping an eye on them. But all in all...I really have used a lot of time contemplating about it all and the only logical explanation is that we have all been manipulated for a long time and that we still are...”

Noonien looked at him: “I think all my suffering was planned all along....like a manuscript for a film or words in a book. It makes sense if we all just are pawns on a gigantic chess board. I really hope we are on the winning side though...”  
_____________________

Two months later, on New Vulcan, Noonien was at the Facility were the 10 clones from Betazed – just 3 babies and the rest still foetuses and the augmented embryos still frozen – were to be raised and taken care of. The plan was to develop the foetuses at a normal time rate and gradually thawing the augmented embryos. In about 10 years they would all be living and functioning and hopefully would the Vulcan scientists find the flaws and failures in the frozen augmented-version-13-embryos.   
A great amount of Noonien’s own nano-robots was to be “harvested” from his body and re-grown and multiplied in artificial bone marrow. The nano-robots from version 13 had proven themselves useless.   
Again Spock Prime and Sarek had to admire the bravery that Noonien showed. They had actually not so much time left before the doctors needed those robots and before Noonien would have to leave. Noonien told the doctors that they could just strap him to the bed and force his body to produce enough in a very short time....about two days blood loss close to the brink where he would be killed, would give them enough nano-robots and if they began the session by harvesting bone marrow from his femurs and pelvis with a thick syringe, he would have about 2 hours to heal before they began to remove his nano robots from his blood.  
_________________________

The 3 men, Noonien, Spock Prime and Sarek were standing in the space-port on New Vulcan facing a small star-ship. This first trip according to the orders of the “Old Ones” wouldn’t be that long and Sarek and Spock Prime had still work to do on New Vulcan. When Noonien would return in about 2 months, the two others would join him on his next trip. The idea was to return to New Vulcan regularly every 2nd year or even more frequently during the next up till 18 years. Carrying out the plans of the old ones. Making the Galaxy a safer and happier place. Noonien had a feeling that there was something hidden in those plans but right now he couldn’t see any traps or deceptions. He straightened his back, nodded to the two Vulcans and walked towards his ship.

“There goes the bravest man I’ve ever met”, said Spock Prime and Sarek just looked at him and the left corner of his mouth turned a bit upwards and his reply was: “And yet he is not a man at all!” 

Spock Prime actually laughed and Sarek looked a bit shocked at that childish behaviour. 

“O.. come on” said Spock Prime: “You know my excuse for such an improper behaviour is my human side”

But Sarek just shook his head: “No it is your Vulcan side. Unfortunately you only have human tools to regulate it” and he smiled again.

**Author's Note:**

> I re-read Arthur C. Clarke's “Childhoods End” recently and got this idea.  
> Note: I’m not a Trekkie and I’m not sure I’ve got the different races, Empires, Dominions and Federations correct. Not even how they are placed in the Galaxy versus each other.  
> All the stories in my series take place in the Star Trek universe and are in chronological order....in “the alternate reality” and “post Star Trek into Darkness”, except from the first 2 stories and the main point is that Khan Noonien Singh is not a bad guy after all...or is he? Are there hidden agendas somewhere? Khan’s background story differs from the canon, though.  
> And of course I do not own the characters. They belong to Roddenberry in the first place and Paramount in the second.  
> English is not my native tongue so I excuse if there are failures.


End file.
